Body Scan Meditation
When doing this meditation, remember that, as always, there’s no need to strive to make anything happen. Simply observe what you find and practice letting things be for a while. When something uncomfortable grabs your attention, like pain or an itch, observe it first and see if it changes. If you find you need to address it, that’s fine. Noticing that, pause and make an adjustment. In this way, the body scan provides an opportunity to practice responsiveness.
Begin by lying down or sitting in a comfortable chair. If lying down, let your arms and legs relax and fall to the sides; if seated, find a balanced and stable position.
Take a few moments to notice sensations of breathing.
Expect your mind to wander, and when it does, return your attention to your feet without judging yourself or giving yourself a hard time.
Draw your attention to your feet. Notice the pressure of your feet against the floor or bed, the temperature, comfort or discomfort, itches, or anything else. Expect your mind to wander, and when it does, return your attention to your feet without judging yourself or giving yourself a hard time. Let your attention rest with your feet in this way for a few minutes.
Move attention to your lower legs. You might feel the touch of clothing or a blanket, and you might feel nothing at all. Sustain your attention without rigidly exhausting yourself. Whatever you experience, that’s what you’re supposed to feel right now.
After a few minutes, shift attention to your upper legs, observing them in the some way
Pacing yourself turn this some kind of attention to your abdomen and then to your chest. Notice physical sensations, such as breathing, internal feelings like hunger or fullness, and the resonance of any emotions—physical manifestations of happiness, sadness, tension, anger, feeling open or closed, and so on.
Continue turning attention to the rest of your body in the some way, spending several minutes each on your bock, then your hands, then your arms. Then bring attention to your neck and shoulders, releasing tension when you’re able without fighting what remains.
Finally, bring attention to your face and head, noticing expressions and reflections of emotions that occur around your mouth and eyes in particular.
Whether you feel relaxed or tense, restless or invigorated, pause before concluding. Take a moment of stillness, and then, with intention, choose when to move on with your day.
NOTE: The instructions above are intended for your own use, with a child’s body scan available separately below.
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Loving-kindness (compassion) Meditation
So often, we lose track of the fact that we would give someone else the benefit of the doubt in a particular situation but not ourselves. Whether we’re on autopilot or even when giving a situation our full attention, we can make mistakes. Yet our desire is for happiness, and we’re trying to find our way there—we don’t intentionally make a misstep. And really, the same goes for everyone around us: extended family members, our children’s teachers and therapists, a hassled clerk or waitperson, and certainly our children. Even when we completely disagree with others or how they’re acting, their intent is still happiness.
You love your child, but sometimes it may seem like he chooses to be a pain—resisting bedtime, forgetting his backpack, or whatever else gets under your skin. When you’re caught up in the struggle of trying to keep him on track, frustration may sometimes mask your larger wish for his well-being. He’s seeking happiness and, as happens to everyone, something has gotten in the way. It can, unfortunately, be easy to lose track of his side of the story.
You may wonder how you can make strong decisions, protect yourself, and still acknowledge others’ perspectives in this way. You may feel vulnerable when extending compassion to both yourself and others, as if you are in some way condoning their perhaps inappropriate actions. It can feel much easier and often safer to defend, withdraw, or shut others out. But if you fall back on these kinds of reactions repeatedly, it may affect both you and those around you.
Compassion-focused mindfulness practices can guide you past these habitual barriers. You can take care of yourself, or take firm action to protect yourself from someone, and yet still maintain this larger perspective. With effort and repetition, it’s possible to hardwire new neural pathways that reinforce compassion in interactions with yourself, your child, and the world.
In this compassion practice, there’s no aim to force anything to happen. You cannot will yourself into particular feelings toward yourself or anyone else. Rather, the practice is