The Mindful Survey: The Good Fight

Highlights from our reader survey on arguing in love.

Illustration courtesy Vecteezy

Do you believe that each of us has one true great love?

61% say yes, 39% percent say no

How do you make up after a fight?

  • “Physical contact: One of us breaks and hugs the other, and the tension washes away.”
  • “Eating something.”
  • “Laughing.”
  • “Lotsa good lovin’.”
  • “By breaking the silence.”
  • “There is no making up. Life just goes on.”
  • “We relax on the couch together.”
  • “I used to apologize.”
  • “We say sorry, then remain cold for a while.”
  • “I make a cup of tea.”
  • “We talk it out.”
  • “Hugs and sex please!”
  • “Cooking really tasty dishes.”
  • “Time heals. Give space.”
  • “Sex, obviously.”

How does arguing relate to relationships?

63% say it’s a necessary part of any healthy relationship. On the other hand, 10% say it’s a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. Still, 39% of people agree it should be avoided when possible, and only 1% say it’s fun.

When you’re arguing, where do you feel it most in your body?


What’s the best thing about being in a relationship?

  • “SUNDAYS.”
  • “Having a person who knows you like no other.”
  • “Cuddlies.”
  • “Complicity.”
  • “Having both a Saturday night date and being able to stay home.”
  • “The warmth, companionship, and ego-limiting opportunities.”

Do you tend to hold grudges?

41% say yes, 59% say no

What’s your main objective when arguing with a significant other?

76% say they aim to work through difficult emotions and miscommunications, while 14% want to ease tension, 3% want to make the other person feel better, and 7% just wanna win!

When you disagree with someone, are you more likely to:


What’s the worst thing about being in a relationship?

  • “Having to share food.”
  • “Miscommunication.”
  • “Knowing that I have to look hard at myself.”
  • “Having to trust another person with my vulnerabilities.”
  • “Putting up with other person thinking they’re right all the time.”
  • “Snoring.”
  • “Worrying that your happiness will negatively impact the other person.”
  • “Having to worry about someone else’s feelings all the time.”
  • “Going to bed mad.”
  • “Dealing with in-laws.”
  • “Answering to someone else.”
  • “Sometimes my sadness makes him sad too.”

What’s the silliest thing you’ve argued about with a romantic partner?

  • “Dog pee.”
  • “We constantly argue about things we agree on.”
  • “Manpons.”
  • “Misplaced underwear.”
  • “Stacking the dishwasher.”
  • “Whether fat-free milk is the same as skim.”
  • “Poop.”
  • “Driving directions.”
  • “Trivia.”
  • “Debit or cash payment method.”
  • “An Arby’s roast beef sandwich!”
  • “Reusing tea bags.”
  • “How to squeeze the toothpaste.”
  • “Being messy (me).”
  • “Cat hair.”
  • “Representational art.”