A Meditation for Offering Yourself Kindness

Follow this practice to give yourself the kind wishes and words you need to hear the most.

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This meditation is a rare and unique opportunity to offer yourself the phrases, words, and intentions that you most need to hear in this moment, at this time. You can customize words and phrases for exactly what you need.

Consider the following questions as a guide, asking yourself:

  • What is it that I truly need?
  • What is it that I need to hear from others?
  • What would I like whispered in my ear every single day, something that would make me realize that I needed to hear that?

See if these can be formulated into phrases or wishes for yourself. Phrases that are clear, direct, warm, and kind. Phrases that don’t provoke any argument in the mind, and are accepted freely by your open heart. 

See if these can be formulated into phrases or wishes for yourself. Phrases that are clear, direct, warm, and kind. 

You can use phrases that are fairly standard and available, like, “May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.”

Take some time now to choose the phrases that you would like to offer yourself as a gift. A gift from you to you in this meditation. Phrases you formulated, or the phrases that have been offered, whatever seems right to you. 

What would I like to whisper in my own ear over and over again? 

What gift would you I to give myself in this moment?

Explore this Guided Kindness Meditation

A Meditation for Offering Yourself Kindness

  • 16:10
  1. Take the time to find a comfortable position for your body. It may be sitting on a cushion, on the floor, or on a chair. It might be lying down or even standing up. Listen carefully to what your body has to say. What does it need? What do you truly need in the way of a posture for your body, a posture that facilitates some degree of ease, stillness, comfort, and wakefulness? 
  2. As you find the posture that is right for you, perhaps allow your eyes to close, or soften your gaze, directing attention away from anything in particular, and bringing attention inside to the terrain of your own heart, body, and mind. Release any unnecessary tension that you may be holding in the body, and maybe place a hand on your heart or in some other soothing part of the body, a place where you can feel the tenderness of the touch, the warmth, the kindness and affection, so that you can truly receive it and let it be your guide through this meditation. A gentle but ever-present reminder of the compassion that you wish to bring to yourself in the midst of this practice, the kindness, the lovingkindness. Let the warmth of the touch and the pressure of your hand be your guide in this lovingkindness for yourself meditation. 
  3. Remember, you’re not only bringing awareness but loving awareness to your experience and most importantly to yourself, in this practice. 
  4. After a while, feel your breath where you notice it most vividly. Notice cool air moving past the nostrils, or the chest filling, or the belly rising and falling as the diaphragm draws the air in and presses it back out. Feel the rhythm of breathing. Each time that your attention wanders, come back to the breath over and over, gently but firmly. 
  5. Whenever you’re ready, gently release your focus from the breath, allowing it to move gently into the background of your attention. Instead, offer yourself those gifts, the words or phrases that are just right for you, the phrases you need to hear. Phrases that you can receive with warmth and gratitude. Gifts that you give yourself. 
  6. Begin to offer the phrases, attending very carefully to the tone, allowing it to be warm, generous, kind, and patient, offering the gifts again and again. 
  7. Open up your heart to these words and whisper them gently into your own ear. Let yourself feel the importance of the words, and receive this gift with warmth and gratitude. Usher attention back each time it wanders, gently redirecting back to the present moment. Know that this is just what the mind does, no judgment. Simply invite attention back by redirecting, resettling, and continuing to offer these phrases to yourself. Perhaps you can hear the words from the inside. Allow them to resonate within you, or to echo through your heart, mind, and body. Receive these gifts of lovingkindness from your own self. 
  8. Allow the words to take up space in your awareness, and to fill your being, if only for this one moment. Whenever you notice that the mind has wandered, that moment of noticing is mindfulness. Immediately you’re back, bringing attention back to these kind words, perhaps refreshing the tone, breathing new life into the words, breathing compassion and kindness into the words. Continue to offer them up to yourself, receiving each word or phrase and allowing it into the space of your heart. Take it in. Feel the importance of these words as you offer them to yourself. 
  9. Finally, whenever you’re ready, release your focus upon the phrases. Rest comfortably in your body. Allow however it is, to be OK. However you’re feeling, you can simply be here. Allow yourself to be just as you are. 
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