When you’re tasting something delicious, or laughing at adorable animals doing funny things, or having a moment of kindness or connection with a friend or stranger, do you notice how good it feels? How these experiences kind of light you up?
Well, it might just be me, but lately that inner spark of light has felt like it is under attack.
And let’s face it, there are so many reasons to feel that our light is being engulfed by darkness.
While searching for a solution, perhaps you’ve heard that mindfulness might be just the thing to help you reignite your spark. How exciting…tell me more! But wait! Doesn’t this mindfulness thing involve…sitting in silence? Eek! What if being left in silence just leaves you with even louder thoughts, which might feel equally awful?
If you have the idea that “doing mindfulness” means you have to learn to follow your breath, or sit in silence, and if this idea increases your anxiety, then it makes sense that “mindful” is just about the last thing you want to be.
Totally understandable. Yet one of the myths of mindfulness is that there’s just one way to practice it. Mindfulness encourages us to use a group of tools and practices that can help us be more aware, more often.
To practice mindfulness is to make a deal with yourself to love and care for the one known as you. You can begin by making a commitment to yourself to notice the small things that help you shine, and be aware of the thoughts and situations that seem to steal away your light.
To practice mindfulness is to make a deal with yourself to love and care for the one known as you.
If we want to live a happy life, this has to include finding ways to stand with ourselves when the chips are down. This might look like being curious: noticing when you are feeling overwhelmed by too much stimulation, including the loudness of silence, or hyper-focusing on your breathing. It’s going to be different strokes for different folks.
Mindfulness can look like this: As you feel difficult thoughts invading, ask yourself if you’re sure that your dark thoughts are the whole story. Is it possible that you are missing some information? Or maybe the thoughts are accurate, but you’re allowing them to chew on your entrails, and who likes that?
Be curious about what the dark shadow is stirring up inside of you. Perhaps you feel like you are being devoured by fire ants, or sucked into quicksand. Maybe your thoughts are like screaming demons, or whispering dementors of despair. The reason it’s good to get curious is that your thoughts and emotions launch chemicals into the bloodstream. Scientific research suggests that when you consciously acknowledge the emotions that are present for you, this simple acknowledgment signals the chemical to stop firing, which helps you regain calm. It gives you a reprieve from the chemical responses that are associated with the stress of feeling your light being squelched.
Make a list of small things that bring you a boost—a cup of tea, time in nature, connection with a friend or a book or creativity.
There’s no better antidote to the triggering of those chemical responses than turning to yourself with radical kindness and understanding. Doing so can be a brilliant strategy for outwitting the threat mechanism that keeps you revving on high while your battery burns out.
If your intention is to keep your light shining, it can help to be aware of whatever threatens to dim it. Make a list of small things that bring you a boost—a cup of tea, time in nature, connection with a friend or a book or creativity. When you feel the darkness overtaking you, turn to your list and use it! If you find yourself struggling, because sometimes life can be so hard, please turn toward yourself with love and kindness. Look for moments for playfulness, and for giving yourself and others loving! Nurture the little spark so that it might grow into a flame that illuminates the world.
Practice: Keep Your Inner Light Shining Bright
This short practice offers a way to experiment with self-compassion.
- Start by making yourself as comfortable as possible. Sit in a chair with back support, or lie down if you like.
- Place a comforting hand somewhere on your body. This could be over your heart area, or on your belly or your cheek. It could even be your knees or feet. Find what feels good and lights you up.
- Give yourself permission to shine. If you are up for exploring, you could also try kickstarting your thoughts with some intentions for being more radiant, like: Breathing in, I invite the light. Breathing out, I shine.
- Imagine a blazing sun, radiating from within you. Pause and notice how this makes you feel. Is there any strength or confidence or ease that comes from choosing this lightness?
