As a psychologist, I see people in my practice all the time who complain that the thrill of sex dies down after awhile. It gets, well, routine. Same-old, same-old. Going through the motions. Sometimes, they get around to asking what they can do to spice things up.
“Yes, there is,” I say.
Their eyes get a little wider, their hearts jump a bit.
They’re not always thrilled when I tell them they need to change their brain structure. And sometimes even less thrilled when I tell them one of the best ways to change their brain for better sex, is mindfulness meditation.
A key factor in having better sex is actually being there when you’re having it. Being there not just physically — being fully present, in thought, word and deed. (Not exactly what the Boy Scouts had in mind with that catchphrase.) It isn’t about adding props or toys or costumes — it’s about really showing up and tuning in, to the moment, yourself and your partner.
To do this it’s essential to have a better flow of information between what your body is sensing, on up to the lower parts of the brain where those sensations are sorted…