Whether we want to share an idea or innovation, push back against a strategy we’re convinced won’t work, or have a hard conversation with a friend, speaking up can be costly.
When deciding whether to speak up, we need to figure out whether and how to say something. Most of us are also anticipating and calculating the emotional and relational impacts the comment will have on the other person, ourselves, and the systems in which we live and work.
In a decade of consulting with professionals to handle difficult conversations, I’ve noticed a particular dynamic. Very few people are as clear or direct as they think they are. In fact, 45% of Americans—myself included—regularly self-censor for fear that expressing their view will isolate and alienate them from others.
What we say—and what we don’t—impacts the quality of work assignments we receive, the reputation we build, and, at worst, whether we have a livelihood or physical safety. By becoming aware of why people often silence themselves, you can notice whether you do this, too—and whether doing so serves you.
