Why “Mindful Emailing” Matters in a Busy Inbox
Every email I receive from my friend and colleague Donald Rothberg begins with a blessing. “May this message find you in health and happiness,” or “May this day, your first at home after this last long period of teaching, be one of ease and rest.” Sometimes it’s a general wish; often it’s specific. And then comes the practical part: “About that meeting tomorrow…”
Begin with a Blessing: Setting the Tone of Care
About a year ago I began to notice Donald’s convention—right after he’d told me about his other email practice: before opening each message, he pauses, takes a breath, and sets the intention, “May I open this email and respond for the benefit of myself and for all beings.” I haven’t fully adopted that practice yet, but I think of it often—especially when I realize I’ve been emailing too much, too quickly.
I love the magic of instant connection across the world. Yet simply seeing my inbox can shake my equanimity: “Oh, good—finally!” or “Oh, dear—something I forgot,” or “Oh, my—‘Bad news’ from someone I love.” With one glance I can feel excitement, dread, or grief. Each message—pleasant, unpleasant, or tedious—asks the mind to notice and feel without getting swept away. That’s hard when so many pings arrive at once. Even silence—no reply from someone you’re waiting on—can stir dismay.
The more I recognize that messages act like a mindfulness bell—“Pay attention now… and again”—the more I appreciate Donald’s opening blessings. Whatever he needs to say—“We need to do this,” “I can’t cover that class,” or “I loved what you said yesterday”—lands more gently because the first note was kindness. It’s as if he’s said, “Relax. You can meet what comes next.”
A Pause Before You Click: Intention as Practice
Eventually I decided the right way to write to Donald was to begin with a blessing, too. I felt self-conscious at first, but those opening lines lifted my own mood. They tuned my mind toward goodwill despite the day’s busyness. Soon, every email to Donald began with a blessing.
From One Teacher to Many: How the Practice Spreads
Recently a message arrived from our colleague Mark Coleman: “May your day begin with happiness and enthusiasm.” I thought, “Aha—this practice is catching.” Of course Donald emails our whole teaching cohort; they’re receiving the same blessings, and now Mark has taken it up. That gave me permission to use it more widely. I started with teaching colleagues and gradually extended it to almost everyone. Only when replying to someone I don’t know, or to an official notice, do I pause.
The Inbox as a Mindfulness Bell
I’ve come to feel that a blessing says, universally, “Relax. This meeting between us will be OK.”
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Salaam Aleicum
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Shalom Alechem
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Peace be with you. And also with you.
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May all beings be peaceful and come to the end of suffering.
We all send so many emails. I love imagining that from Donald to Mark to me to you, the world could begin blessing itself into peace—one subject line at a time.
A Universal Language of Blessing
Now I need to seriously work on pausing to clarify my intention before opening each email. I’m not doing it yet, but I hope that making this intention public will help it take root.
Photo © flickr.com/gina pina
