Much of life’s pain comes from the disappointment of having your unceasing desires unmet. Truth be told, over the arc of your life, you will have breathtakingly wonderful experiences, but you will also have losses and failures. Your general well-being will be determined less by the number of great moments, and more by the way you manage the difficult ones.
The key to dealing with those bad things when they happen is acceptance. If grasping and aversion are about always wanting this moment to be better or different, acceptance is about making the best of each moment, just as it is.
When unwanted things happen, it’s painful. When we resist our pain, we multiply our suffering. Consider it as a formula:
Pain x Resistance = Suffering
Pain is what you feel when something difficult, unpleasant, sad, or scary happens. It is inevitable that we will all feel pain. Resistance is all the things you do to escape pain. Think aversion on steroids. Complaining is also a form of resistance. The soundtrack of resistance might go like this: It’s not fair. Why does this always happen to me? It’s not my fault. You should not have said that!Acceptance Decreases Suffering