Being Proactive
Proactive pivoting is one of the hardest things, because it implies that we’re making a change before we absolutely have to make a change.
We really don’t like change. We’re creatures of habit. We like our routines, and we like the familiar. When it comes to proactive pivoting, we need to conjure up a certain amount of strength, and faith that what we’re about to do will work out for us.
Proactive pivoting is about getting ahead of change, seeing that change needs to come, and mustering the courage and the strength to make that change.
We’re often more accustomed to crisis pivoting. This is when we have to pivot—when things happen legally, medically, relationally, or vocationally that require our immediate, all-hands-on-deck attention.
Proactive pivoting is different. It is about getting ahead of change, seeing that change needs to come, and mustering the courage and the strength to make that change.
Loss Aversion
There are a few fears and obstacles that can get in the way when we’re thinking about pivoting. We all have our go-to place when it’s time for a change—the uncertainty, or the fear of failure, the unknown. Whatever those fears are, we all have them.
The science of loss aversion shows that even if the change will bring us something equal to, or even a little better than what we currently have, we still resist.
There’s also something that can get in our way called loss aversion. It turns out that even if the change will bring us something equal to, or even a little better than what we currently have, we still resist.
The science indicates that in order to make a change, we need to perceive that what we’re going into is twice as positive as what we currently experience. Keeping in mind that experiencing this loss aversion can be very helpful to us in times of pivoting—just knowing that is a phenomenon, and being aware of it, can help us to face it.
A Personal Example of Proactive Pivoting
Here’s a personal example of a proactive pivot that occurred in my family.
My mom was living in Janesville, Wisconsin, where she was born and where she had lived her entire life. She was 85, and she decided to move to Dallas, Texas.
She was in perfectly fine health and has four children. I’m the oldest of four, and she decided to move before anything happened in her life that would force her to make a change. She was very familiar with her community—she knew her neighbor, she had grown up there, she was driving a car, and she had a very nice life there. But she was able to muster the strength to make a big change at her age. Now four years later, she’s still very healthy and is very grateful that years earlier had made that change.
Deciding Not to Pivot is Okay, Too
Sometimes change is genuinely not the right choice in a given moment, and that’s okay.
We can become present with what our current situation is, assess it, and maybe determine that in the grander scheme of things, it’s not the time for us to pivot.
In these moments, we don’t have to feel regret or guilt because we actually didn’t go through with it.
The key is that we consider pivoting when things in our life indicate that would be best for our well-being, and if it’s not, then we can gently surrender.
We are generally more skilled at crisis pivoting than proactive pivoting, so it isn’t always easy to know what the right thing to do is in the moment. Being compassionately present with ourselves in the process is key—including in the moments that we decide not to make a change, or in the moments when we decide to stay or move on, and we’re not sure.
Mindfully Reflecting on Your Own Actions
Think about a time in your life when you did proactively pivot.
- What brought on the moment when you knew you had to consider change?
- What did you do to prepare?
- What helped you make your decision?
- How did you feel about the change after you made it?
- What were you most grateful for? What did you learn?
Life is change, and change is constant. Mindfulness builds our courage, because it helps us pay more attention to our real lives as they’re happening—and that, in turn, helps us to discern when it’s time to change directions.
